Tips for Building Toddler Independence

Have you ever found yourself wondering why your toddler doesn’t want to play on their own? Just like with infants, toddlers go through so many phases and changes because they are growing and changing so much so fast.

I have been very blessed that my children love playing independently, and I can get things done. However, it has not always been this way. My daughter used to always want me to play and do everything with her. I honestly loved doing it, but when I had my son, it got harder to do because I had to split my time between the two.

At the same time, having my son was also what turned things around for my children’s independence. I get told all the time that my kids are so independent because they will just sit and play on their own without me every day. They are so good about it, and I do feel very blessed that that is the case for us.

I never did anything specific to achieve this, but I have realized some things I have done along the way that have helped to contribute to their independence. So I wanted to share with you some of the things we have done in the hopes that it might help you build toddler independence with your child too.

**Keep in mind that there is no one-size-fits-all for every parent, baby, or situation. What works for one person may not work for another. These are just some ideas based on my own personal experience of what I have found that can help build toddler independence.

Slowly Give Them More Space

To help encourage independence, start by slowly giving your toddler some more space. Don’t constantly hover. Take a step back. Give them a toy and see how they play with it on their own without your interaction.

Watch from a Distance

Give your toddler more space by watching from a distance. Instead of hovering or sitting right by them 24/7, step back and just observe. I created a play area in our breakfast nook and let my kids play there while I clean and do dishes, etc. I’m close by in case they need me, but they are in their own space without me hovering.

Encourage Independent Play

Little by little, do what you can to encourage independent play with your toddler. The more they play and have fun on their own, the more they will learn they don’t always need you beside them. You can set aside independent playtime during the day to help aid in this.

Encourage Their Helping

Instead of getting frustrated when your kids want to help you cook or clean, try including them. Encouraging their helping can also encourage their independence. They’ll want to keep helping and even want to do it on their own. My daughter loves to help feed our dogs and gets upset if I do it myself.

Have Them Interact with Other Kids

A big help for many kids in building independence comes from having them interact with other kids. By watching and playing with other kids, it teaches them how to interact without adults. My daughter’s independence grew in bounds once her brother was able to play with her. They are now the best of friends and will just run and play independently together.

Occasionally Let Someone Else Watch Them

Occasionally hiring a babysitter or letting someone else watch your toddler will help them adapt to not depending on you. As a stay-at-home mom who doesn’t live close to family, I have a hard time letting someone else watch my kids. But when I have, it has been good for both of us.

Teach Them How to Do Things

Teach your toddler how to get dressed, brush their teeth, tie their shoes, etc. Teach them any little task they can learn to do on their own. I’ve found with my toddlers that the older they get and the more they know how to do on their own, the more they have started doing things themselves.

Set Aside Time for Activities They Can Do Themselves

Does your toddler like coloring or doing puzzles? Find an activity they can easily do on their own and set aside time for them to do it solo. Giving them opportunities to do activities on their own will allow them to become more comfortable doing things on their own.

Let Them Experiment

Let them experience and experiment on their own, even if it involves making messes. Try loosening up and let them color outside the lines, paint by themselves, or dump out a toy bucket all over the floor. Let them be little and have fun. You can stress about the mess later.

Let Them Wander and Explore on Their Own

When it’s safe to do so, let your toddler wander and explore on their own. Let them run ahead at the park or on a walk. My kids love exploring, and I love watching them as they discover the world around them. Exploring and challenging things is how kids learn and better understand the world.

Let Them Be Alone When They Want to Be

When your toddler wants a little space or to be left alone, let them be alone. Don’t push to be cuddly or hold them. We all need a little space every now and then. Your toddler is no different. Let them have some space so they will get more comfortable with doing things on their own.

This should go without saying by now, but if you let your toddler do things on their own, the more they will want to continue doing things on their own. Sometimes as a mom, you just want to do it yourself so that it gets done right, but giving your toddler the freedom to do it will help them learn and grow their independence. The best advice I can give for building toddler independence is to encourage them to do things on their own and then actually let them do so.