Little Humblings: Solo Travel

Yes, I’m that mom who never wants to leave her kids. From the moment my daughter was born, I never wanted to leave her. I genuinely wanted to spend all my time with her. I’m super critical of anyone who watches her and never wanted to leave her with anyone to get out of the house, let alone go on a vacation.

In fact, in the first three years of her life, there were only two times I can think of that I spent one night away from her. Once to stay with a friend who was going through a tough time. And once when I had to stay in the hospital after my son was born. Even then, I couldn’t wait to get home to her.

I never thought to go on a trip without the kids.

Whenever I went somewhere, I loved taking them. I love experiencing new things and creating new memories with them. But after 3 and a half years of never being without my kids, I needed a little trip away. When one of my best friends asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding back in my old home state of California, I began planning a kid-free week-long girls’ trip getaway.

Even though I knew it was coming and I was excited, I was so anxious to leave my babies for a whole week. They stayed with family, but I didn’t know how they would react to me not being. As a stay-at-home mom, I’m with them 24/7, so I knew it would be a big change for all of us.

It was so hard saying goodbye to them. My daughter kept asking to go with me. I cried when I had to say goodbye at the airport. But I knew it would be good for me to get some time away to recharge and see my girlfriends. And I knew it would be good for my kids to get some quality time with dad and grandma and to spread their wings.

As hard as it was to leave them, it was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be once I was gone. I stayed busy with the wedding and catching up with my besties. While I still missed them like crazy, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be to be away from them. The trip definitely did what I hoped it would for me. It was the break I needed to come back refreshed. I was so excited to get back to see them again.

While I don’t see myself traveling kid-free often (I still love our family trips), I do see the value in getting away every now and then. We all need a break and a vacation sometimes. There is nothing wrong with that.

I had so much mom guilt over having a kid-free trip that it took me 3 years to take one.

If you are struggling with the thought of leaving your littles for a weekend trip or even one night, I feel you. I was that girl. I am still that girl. We recently took a weekend trip for our anniversary, and it was still hard for me to leave my kids. But it wasn’t as hard as the first time.

If you feel mom guilt over wanting to have a kid-free trip, don’t. You need to take care of yourself too. If you need a little girl’s or couple’s getaway, that is nothing to be ashamed about. We all need a break every now and then. Self-care is not selfish! Take time for yourself.

If you feel mom guilt over a kid-free trip you have already taken, don’t. Remind yourself of why you did it in the first place. It’s good not only for you but also for your kids. Letting them branch out and get out of their norm is beneficial to their growth.

I know it’s hard and nerve-wracking leaving your littles for the first time.

But trust me, once you do it the first time, it will be easier going forward. It will most likely not be as bad as you think in your head. It may just surprise you at how well you and your kids do with it. If you are worried about your kids forgetting you or replacing you–that is not possible. You are still mom. They love you.

My kids loved having time with grandma. And I loved having girl time. So it was a win/win for all. We were able to video chat and still stay in touch while apart. Being away won’t last forever, and you can pick right back up where you were when you get back. Kids are resilient. Not all change is bad. Give yourself and your kids some credit.

You CAN take a trip kid-free and still love your kids more than anything else!

Today marks the 10th anniversary of my first cross-country move. On this day 10 years ago, I packed up my Xterra and started driving from my hometown in Virginia to my new home in California. I cannot believe that it has been 10 years! It seems just like yesterday.

I had just turned 19 and was not only moving out of my parents’ house but moving across the whole US! From the East Coast to the West. I was so young and naive. So full of life and excitement for my new adventure.

It was bittersweet knowing I was leaving my family, but I was mostly just excited. I had been dreaming about this move my whole life. As long as I could remember, it was my dream to move to California and become an actress for movies and TV. I had never even set foot in California before, but that didn’t scare me.

I had been working full-time since age 17, and after buying my first car, I had been saving up for this very move. I was stepping out into the great unknown. I had only just lined up a place to live about a week before moving. My dad was driving out with me to help me get settled in and acclimated to California for a couple of days, then he would fly back home.

I was always the shy, quiet, homebody out of my siblings. I was probably the last of my 8 siblings that you would ever think would move far away from home. I always just had a daring and adventurous spirit underneath. Most people probably thought I was crazy, but that didn’t stop me.

I remember my dad asking me a couple of times if I wanted to take any detours to stop at any landmarks along the way, and I said no. Now, looking back, I kind of wish I had taken some extra time to do that, just to have those memories and experiences. But at the time, I was so excited to get to California that I didn’t want to do anything that would delay it any longer than it was already taking.

So we literally just drove. As much as we could in one day, we drove. We only stopped to get gas, grab a quick meal, and sleep. If we weren’t doing one of those three things, we were driving. Although we didn’t make many pit stops, we still saw some cool sights.

As I’ve been reminiscing about this move, I have been going through my old posts and photos from this time, so I thought I would share some of the specific details with you all. It was quite a road trip!

Day 1

Our goal was to start driving around noon on July 25th, but that didn’t happen. Packing what was left in my room and loading the car took longer than expected. We ended up leaving around 5 pm (EST) instead. By the time we left, my car was jam-packed from floor to ceiling.

We wanted to drive as much as possible that first day, and since we were feeling ok we ended up driving about nine hours. We stopped at 1 am (CST) for the night in Dickson, TN, a town between Nashville and Memphis.

I did most of the driving on the first day of the trip, so I didn’t get many photos. Despite it being dark, we still saw some cool sights. We caught the I-40 and took it the whole way across the US.

Some of my highlights from Day 1 were:

Driving past Nashville at night. I just love city lights! It is just so magical. Seeing Nashville all lit up at night was so beautiful!
Driving along “Music Highway”. On I-40 from Nashville to Memphis, the section of the highway is called “Music Highway”. Makes sense, right? The signs were so cool with music notes and all. I thought it was a neat thing to see.

Day 2

After what felt like a very short night’s sleep and a quick breakfast, we began driving again on July 26th. We left our hotel in Dickson, TN around 8:30/9:00 am (CST). I took a lot more pictures on this day since my dad drove a lot of the way and it was daylight outside.

We drove through Memphis. I saw a couple of billboards for Graceland but never a sign directing us where to go. We drove over the Tennessee River/Kentucky Lake.

We crossed over the Mississippi River as we passed the Arkansas state line. Arkansas was very green and pretty, with lots of water and swamps around.

We passed into Oklahoma, and everything began to look drier and not so colorful. We drove over Lake Eufaula, which was very large and pretty. The sun was out, and the sky was very blue with clouds. Driving at 70/75 MPH, everything comes and goes so fast; if you don’t know it’s coming, you miss it. We saw an Air Force Base and passed through Oklahoma City.

We passed into Texas and hit a short but heavy rainfall. After about 14 hours of driving, we stopped for the night in Amarillo, TX.

Highlights from Day 2:

Driving over the Mississippi River while crossing the Arkansas state line at the same time.
Driving through Checotah in Oklahoma. This is Carrie Underwood’s hometown, and they have a sign saying it’s her hometown and that she was the American Idol winner.
Driving through Yukon, OK. This is the home/hometown of Garth Brooks.

Tennessee River/Kentucky Lake

Mississippi River

Arkansas State Line

Arkansas

Oklahoma State Line

Lake Eufaula in OK

Oklahoma City, OK

Yukon, OK

Oklahoma

Somewhere in Oklahoma

Day 3

After what felt like another short night’s sleep (but a little longer than the night before), we got up and began driving again on July 27th, leaving Amarillo, TX. I made a point to try to take more pictures that day as well.

We continued on in Texas, then crossed over into New Mexico. Everything was dry and brown-looking all the way through New Mexico. There were a lot of ranches lining all of I-40 through both Texas and New Mexico. We did see some neat hills and mountains too. After a while, everything looked the same, though.

According to my GPS, we would have arrived at our final destination at around 11:00 pm that night. We decided to just get a hotel that night. We thought of making a detour to the Grand Canyon, but in the end, I decided I would rather just get to a hotel early and relax.

After a good dinner, we got a hotel in Kingman, AZ, at around 8:00 pm (MST). We relaxed and unwound a bit, then I hit the hay around 11:30 pm (MST).

Highlights from Day 3:

Seeing the mountains in New Mexico.

Texas

New Mexico State Line

New Mexico

Day 4

We had a late start on July 28th, but we were only about 4 hours away from our final destination. We got up late, were slower-moving, had breakfast, and left the hotel in Kingman, AZ around 10:00 am (MST).

As we continued driving through Arizona, I began to see more palm trees, which was so exciting! We drove over the Colorado River (it was gorgeous) and then right after, we passed into California.

There was an inspection station where all vehicles had to stop about a mile into California. They asked us where we were coming from; we said, Virginia. Then they asked if we were carrying any fruits, vegetables, plants, or animals. We said no, and then they let us through. We continued on and went over the mountains and through valleys.

Around 2:00 pm (PST), we stopped to grab some lunch, and I got final directions to the house I would be living in. After eating, we continued on and arrived at my new home around 3:00 pm (PST).

Highlights from Day 4:

Seeing all the palm trees.
Driving over the Colorado River.
Seeing the “Welcome to California” sign and crossing the state line.
Driving through the mountains and valleys. It was so cool seeing the difference between the two back-to-back.
Making it to our final destination, my new home!